Thank you for posting!
I dont have any advice, I just want to say I feel very similar. I am in AA and 14 months sober and like you, it was very helpful for me in the beginning. Being with other alcoholics, going to meetings instead of drinking, getting through cravings. And it has helped me with alot more also. Realising I have no power over other people, places or things. Using prayer and meditation to calm my anger and resentment. That has all been beneficial to me. But like you, something is just not sitting right with me. I too have been using some CBT methods, and I have also pinpointed the trigger for my alcoholism . A trauma I had in the past, not abuse, but something so painful I used alcohol as an escape from and something I will be seeking treatment for. I have completed my step 4 and I just dont want to read through all my stuff with my sponsor. And I keep getting told if I don't I will drink again and that those who dont give themselves to this programme will drink again and I have to share my secrets blah blah blah. I was going to go to a meeting this morning and I just couldn't face it. I dont want to be there. Listening to other peoples problems and going on about mine. I want to LIVE. And I too feel like AA is keeping me in my past.
So thank you so much for sharing this today. I look forward to others responses.