After a long time of being divorced (5years) and looking back, I have stopped measuring it in that way. Addiction is addiction. I don't think the addict is mentally trying to "choose" alcohol over you or your children or anything else. I think it's just become something they absolutely cannot live without, or so they think.
I look at my XAH. It's so ingrained in him that he cannot see any other way without it, it is just who he is. I am the one that changed in that I could not accept that behavior any longer. He is still the same ol addict he always was. I have just changed to form healthy boundaries for ME.
Sending you a big hug!