8 months today:
My sense of smell has returned full force! I've been meaning to mention this. So strange, it started to come back around 3 months and I smell things now I did when I was younger. The grass after being cut is strong, sweet smell of the mountain air infused with rhododendrons, humid warm air after it rains, fresh food just prepared, and so much more. I remember being hungover many times and my smell and taste would be lost, then returning a little once the hangover abates. But my sense of smell was perpetually disabled from the booze.
It's hard right now. There is no pink cloud. I'm in the season of my life when drinking was at it's best...summer. At times I feel isolated, socially excluded, and even lonely. Not to say I can't just go out and be with some friends, but most are enjoying cocktails and/or planning events around drinking. So I miss out on some of those. I can explain.
A big concern I have noticed is losing friends. I'm not talking about bar "friends" or those people you thought were friends, I'm talking about your dudes, bros, sisters, whatever...your friends. I fear losing a few. The first few weeks and months I simply removed myself socially and had no business telling anyone why. It wasn't even until 3 months in when I got the "hey man, where have you been?". The problem is that I haven't spoken up on why I've been absent. I didn't announce to my friends that alcohol is the reason for my social withdraw and man, it was causing a lot of problems. A few friends have probably even took offense and likely think I simply don't hangout anymore. There are only so many times you can avoid a text, say no to lunch, and always be "busy" when asked about a hangout. Again, not that I'm intentionally isolating myself, but I am. Not sure how healthy it is, but for the first few months it was best. I didn't want to be around alcohol. Perhaps I should tell them the truth? Maybe something like, "hey man, look heres the reason I've not been around too much..nothing personal". The problem is, once you do that you open yourself up. I can't.
So I'm proud to be 8 months sober. A lot has changed physically, mentally, and dare I even say spiritually? I've completed huge tasks in life and accomplished a few things career wise I would have NEVER done 8 months ago. I mean that part is huge and makes me feel confident. It's like I looked in the mirror and was all like, "Yo, I know that guy! There you are! I know you..." Been away awhile, and now I'm back. In the works, but I'm moving forward.