Sounds to me like your having a mini mid life crisis which most people have at some point. I hope you have some people to lean on for support during this awakening and don't just go back in to the bottle for support. Stay on these forums as much as you can.
I agree that I was very stunted from all the years of drinking and not just emotionally but physically and financially as well. I haven't had any money problems like some people but realize how many years I wasted not working to my full potential is staggering.
The years I cant get back but I can move forward with what I still have in front of me