Codependy…...It is good that you have started counseling.....
The more support you get, the better....
From what you share...it sounds like you are pretty isolated from support...of people who know you and validate your feelings....
In addition, I suggest that you are probably in a grieving process....because, in less than a month ago...in another thread, you indicate that you feel that the relationship is, basically, over...or, on it's last leg.... And, even with that...you indicate that you are still hanging on to the last vestiges of hope that he will change....
This is a painful state to be in....grieving is always painful and the cycle of hope and despair is enough to wear you down to a nubbin...…(if you are not from the South...you may have to google nubbin....lol)….
It is my own experience and experiences of others...that, human contact and connections of empathetic others is the most essential factor in healing the heart and soul....
I suggest that you align more human support (in addition to us, of course)….
Alanon is a good starting place...because you will be validated , there and those people will understand beyond mere words...as they have all walked in your shoes....
Find ways to be around healthy and positive people...even if it is just watching people in the park....or having coffee in a coffee shop...
If you have a particular religion...church activities is a place to go...
You might, also, join a class of some sort....like a crafts class or volunteering in some kind of way...
You may have to move out of your comfort zone....you will have to make some changes...
You might have to begin with baby steps...but, baby steps work....
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"....