OK, I want you to calm down a little. I do know that bringing up some of this stuff makes our blood pressure soar, and we might get into fight or flight again. So breath in breath out, keep doing that. I"m listening.
I heard you talking before about isolating yourself, that is one of the worst things that you can do. I also isolated myself. The thing is, I was only left with crazy thoughts that were going around in my own head. I didn't mean that to say that I don't believe you, because I do, I meant that to say that I had crazy thoughts of how to make things better.
I guess you can also say that I stalked my ex also. I did it by checking where he used his credit. We were married then, but he would disappear for first days at a time, then weeks, then months at a time.
Where is your ex and his girlfriend living now? From what you posted here, you live in Florida.
What I found to be the most helpful to me, was to talk to people. To stop isolating myself, to do some volunteer work, I don't know, just anything to get out of my own head.
(((((((((((hugs)))))))))
amy