I don't know how long you are away from him. Is it recently or longer. I know that I am divorced for almost 9 years now and I still question some of the things that happened. There is no problem with that. We gain information, so that we will never make the same mistake, or perhaps we get answers to our own unanswered questions. It also help for you to tell you story for those that are still "in" the situation you were in. I was diagnosed with c-PTSD from my marriage, and there are a lot of things to deal with after a relationship. It was so hard for me to believe that the closure that I needed was with myself, and not with the person that was hurting me.
(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
amy