We recently went on a trip during which I played along and did all the things he wanted to do. When it was my turn he was too drunk and I ended up doing my Things alone. Any time I call AH out on something itís immediately: well i will sleep on the couch tonight. I didnít know you hated me so much. If thatís really how you feel I wish I had a gun and I would kill myself right now. I canít even tell him everything I think or feel (like you should be able to with your spouse) because he will get drunk and tell his friends and or mother and or entire effing family. And itís very much THEIR family. None of them ever do anything wrong. Anyone who marries into it is never accepted as an equal family member. They probably blame me for his alcoholism.
Lately, Iíve been wishing he would just meet someone and leave me for her. I am too timid? To leave. Idk thatís probably not the right word. As another post said my mother put up with my dadís bad behavior. He was not an alcoholic but had serious anger issues and was emotionally abusive so maybe I learned this tolerance.