Thanks yeah that all makes sense. I'm trying hard not to give the I know better speeches as I know when people tried to tell me it only drove me to it all the more as a big F U. Had dinner with him last night, he was asking questions about group I have joined and seemed curious without me pushing it on him, letting him ask questions.
I told him I loved him and will always be here if he needs to talk, anytime. I just really want him to not have to find out the way I did, I only want the best for him. But I also need to remember I can't fix everything, I like to be the fixer but sometimes that just hurts myself more than anything and I get frustrated.