fwn...I suggest that you begin to do the readings that were suggested in trailmix's post....especially the section in the "Classic Reading" section! (they are in the stickies at the top of the page, also)….
There are over 100 articles on alcoholism and how it affects the loved o nes….enough for you to read one every single day.....
Also, the book "Co-dependent No More" is the most recommended site on this forum....and it is an easy read. I think a lot of it will resonate with you.
I also suggest that you start going to alanon meetings …...you will get a lot of understanding and validation, there....
I must admit, you have me scratching my head.....you say that you have "read a ton on alcoholism".....but, you say things that sound like you don't know very much about the course and nature of the disease....
For one example--you seem so surprised that your husband has lied to you about his drinking.....anyone who knows "a ton" about alcoholism knows that all alcoholics lie about their drinking...they know it is in the alcoholic's handbook...lol...
This is my suggestion....if you plan to stay with him until the baby is born.....you would do well to see some hard core commitment to life-long sobriety out of him.....more than he is showing now....
Without that...relapse is very likely...as alcoholism is given to relapse....
Alcoholics drink to deal with their feelings....so, they tend to increase drinking around the time of birth...or. relapse at that time.
For your sake, I think you should have a good plan for your and the newborn's care around the time of the birth. You need people who you can count on and who will be there to help you with the baby and the other kids.....
Make sure you have an uber ride lined up for when you go for delivery and someone who can stay with you (who is sober) during the delivery.
I worked, at one time, in a woman's hospital...we did lots of deliveries...and, I can tell you about the number of women who came to delivery alone, or with husbands who were drunk when they did show up....
the birth of a child is a sacred time for you and you will want to have some good memories that you will carry with you for the rest of your life….
I am selecting one article from that hundred that spoke of in the "Classic Reading" section.....it is a pretty good yardstick, I think...for judging how ready for treatment/recovery a person is...
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-reposted.html (10 Ways to Tell When an Addict or Alcoholic is Full of ****, reposted)