MY STUFF IS STILL THERR. Three cancelled movers later.

This is causing me a ridiculous amount of anxiety, because I get anxious and stressed out every time I have to go over there. And I've been over there sitting around waiting (because it's not like they call to cancel) and then nothing. I can't take much more of this. It literally ruins every single day.

Not to mention, one day while driving over to supposedly meet movers, I straight up thought I was going to witness a shooting. Like people running down the street with guns pointed. I just so desperately want to never have to go back there again. It is NOT Safe!!!!!

I also have anxiety about telling the landlord and hoping he gives me my money back, which I can't do until my stuff if out...which never happens.

Im just having a hard time...my military friend died and it just brings up my survivor guilt for not having gone to Iraq. It's weird. Sometimes I think I should have gone and then just died because they all have families and nice lives.

It was also just my anniversary and instead of having 16 years, I have 101 days.