I lost all my friends from drinking 15 years ago. The only "friend" I had left was a toxic drinking buddy who spews hate and ugliness wherever he goes, and still harasses me now that I've grown closer to God and gotten sober. But I remember the day I was alone in my house, thinking, "Now I can finally party and enjoy myself", and realized that I was truly alone. And that I didn't care anymore if I lived or died. I had a nervous breakdown then and there, but that's what it took for me to understand what alcohol will take from us.
I mourn the people I hurt and the time and health I wasted. But their lives are surely better today not having a drunk in them, and it took them leaving to give me a much-needed reality check that has been part of the long road out of hell.
I would look any of them in the eye today and apologize for my own mistakes, and mean it. But the pain has caused me to face my demons, and I've never been happier than I am now
