Old 06-10-2019, 07:25 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Troubledone
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 471
I am so sorry for your situation.

When I read you post it felt like one of those movies where one person in the story is about to do something that the audience can see is a huge danger, and silently yelling in their mind "run!,", but then the person in the movie doesn't.

All I can offer is maybe think about what it will be like for you while he is sinking into the pit of addiction and until he hits bottom and really, truly, on his own wants to recover. (which is the only way they really enter recovery - never because we want them to). Right now, he's not at bottom - he's still bargaining with addiction hoping he can have his cake and eat it also.

And then think about what it will be like if you decide to remove yourself.

Both are hard paths with no guarantee. The thing is, that educating yourself regarding addiction, you'll at least know what you are in for and the most effective way to deal with it. There is a sticky somewhere on this site called "what addicts do". I'd say read it, print it and post it on your refrigerator. At this stage of the game, it will likely get worse before it gets better.

And, there is a real benefit for you to explore completely both your desire to leave and your desire to stay. The desire to stay with someone who is addicted, lies and cheats is likely to be motivated by more than love - find out what that is so you can decide if its worth it. If you leave before you've really explored this, it won't be stable.

Wishing you the best path for you and your boyfriend together or apart.
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