Flower, Al-Anon helps you learn to focus on YOUR needs. You stopped attending because the focus was too much on the addiction/addict? Yet, in all your posts... 100% of the focus is on your qualifier... his needs... his issues... his his his. I know all this can feel extremely overwhelming but we all know, things will continue to snowball. Sometimes it just takes stepping back and re-reading your posts... seeing how much you’re obsessing about him/his addiction. Believe me, I was in a similar all-consuming place w/my ex girlfriend. After 1 full year on intense therapy I remember my therapist saying... ok, we spent an entire year discussing your ex. Can I finally meet you? Can we finally talk about you? My face turned bright red in embarrassment! How the hell did I let myself get this far down? But you know what... there’s peace right around the corner... you just have to keep taking tiny steps forward.