Originally Posted by
atalose 
I think all of those things you are experiencing, feeling and doing are normal in the circumstance of living with untreated alcoholism. Looking at the alcohol level on the bottle serves no purpose except it gives you something to do because you don’t know what else to do.
Al-anon helped me learn what else to do. Have you given any thought to some kind of recovery program for yourself?
And yes I do think alcoholism is a mental illness as is OCD, hypochondriac and of course depression.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease and you are witnessing that progression.
I went to Al-anon for about 3 months a few years ago. It helped me at first. It's where I first learned about Co-Dependency. It definitely helped me to learn more about it and know that I wasn't alone or crazy. After a while, I felt like it was just helping me actually focus on it. I was tired of thinking about it and got tired of talking about it too. There are a few trusted people in my life that are aware of the situation. I'm sure that most people that interact with him have figured it out or sense that something is off at least, but I don't usually talk about my marital problems with very many people. However, I'd say that we've become a little isolated. It's sad once I actually put this stuff in words.
Our conflicts are getting more frequent. I've become increasingly concerned about his behaviors and things he says. He's suicidal at times. We talk about it and I try not to judge, and to just listen. But I encourage him to get counseling EVERY SINGLE TIME and nothing ever becomes of it. The next day, it's like it never happened. So, is it the boy that cried wolf? I can't help but think that he's doing it for attention at times, so I think I'm becoming numb to it. He's so UP and DOWN. I rolled my eyes yesterday (he didn't see) when he said that he didn't want to live anymore. And, I think about that. What does that mean that someone makes a comment like that and my reaction is to roll my eyes?! Sometimes, I feel like I'm an awful person but yet I'm so tired of it.