I think all of those things you are experiencing, feeling and doing are normal in the circumstance of living with untreated alcoholism. Looking at the alcohol level on the bottle serves no purpose except it gives you something to do because you donít know what else to do.
Al-anon helped me learn what else to do. Have you given any thought to some kind of recovery program for yourself?
And yes I do think alcoholism is a mental illness as is OCD, hypochondriac and of course depression.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease and you are witnessing that progression.