thanks for you comments...
I am glad I am finally ready and have a plan now. One thing I don't know where to start is showing my wife I am committed and proving I can and will change. Over the last 10 years I have really hurt hurt her with all of the using, lies, and change in my behaviour as a result. I have promise my wife so many times before 'I will change', 'this time is different', 'I will get better' etc. I understand the trust is broken and that trusting me is difficult or impossible at the moment, and only my actions can possibly change her opinion and save our marriage and our family of 3 children. I love her with all my heart and appreciate all of the support I have been given by her, and all I want is to be unselfish and make her happy.
Mrdenial