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Old 06-03-2019, 10:38 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 2,858
Originally Posted by HideMe View Post
I had a night of heavy drinking. Everything seemed normal for days, but then little things started happening that have me convinced I blacked out. Days go by and I start to get worried I've done something horrible, sending detailed drunk text to colleague (conveniently not my phone). In asking around, no one has said I was out of hand that they noticed.

I'm honestly at a point where I think I'm having a nervous breakdown because I will hear things that send a jolt to my core as some kind of recollection of something horrible I said. There are multiple instances of these types of triggers. Yet no one can corroborate that this happened. I'm still convinced that I'm being spared the embarrassment by like 20 people too nice to say anything. I don't know which kind of crazy I am right now. Am I paranoid and/or a horrible blackout drunk?!

Has anyone had these types of fears or memories creep in well after the fact?! Was it true or your anxiety playing to all your worst fears? I am meeting with my therapist ASAP, but just want to know if anyone has experienced this?!
This is similar to what I experienced, pretty much all the time, toward the later stages of my alcoholism.

Do yourself a favor and get help.
“All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn. American writing comes from that. There was nothing before. There has been nothing as good since.” - Ernest Hemingway, Green Hills of Africa
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