Originally Posted by trailmix
Hi Pippo, hope you don't mind me chiming in.
When you say "putting the brakes on" do you mean you are going to stop talking to him (ie: unfriend him on facebook and stop talking to him on the phone) or just that you won't allow him to charm you?
Truly, it would be best to just stop don't you think?
You are kind of giving him your power here by "hoping" he will shift his focus. Why is that? It's really your decision whether you want to talk to him or not, not his.
Trailmix - whoa. I read your response late yesterday and thought about it the rest of the evening and first thing when I woke up this morning. I've gone real deep with this and it has shaken me to the core, truly. I've done a ton of soul searching today. "Putting the brakes on" means that I absolutely will not be talking to him on the phone anymore. Truth be told, I'm a bit hesitant to unfriend him on Facebook. Why? Although I think it's a very, VERY remote possibility, I do not want to **** him off and have him retaliate by contacting my husband. I honestly don't think he would ever do that (he isn't the vindictive type), but let's just say I don't want to temp fate. I think if I just slowly fade into the background, he will move on. It was typically me who initiated chats, anyway.
Ugghh. I feel so stupid. What a fool I am.
Since contact with him feels like another addiction, maybe I need to start keeping track like this:
NO ALCOHOL = 5 days
NO CONTACT W/EX = 1 day (and a few hours)