Bekindalways, thank you for your message! The funny thing is I never thought I was in love with this guy. Over these 25+ years I've always had resentment towards him for how he behaved when breaking up with me. And the total arrogance when trying to win me back, again and again, year after year. I guess when I recently finally let him tell me the reasoning behind his behavior, my heart softened a little bit. (Oh, yeah, and then there was the alcohol that helped that along!) Like I said, it was a very exciting time in my life when I met him so many years ago, I was young and free. No matter how good one's life may be, I think we all at some point indulge in a little bit of fantasy of how a different existence would be without all of the current adult responsibilities. It's crazy, I know. It's a reality I recognize and one that I really do not want. Thank you, again, for your insight.