Immw…..I tend to agree with LifeChange….don't expect too much change...and, be aware that, sober, she might be very different than when drinking....
I think that there is a tendency for the loved one to think that, if the aloholic is sober, that the "problems" in the relationship will be over and things will be like they were in the first days of the relationship...
Also, there is the issue of resentments that the loved one might harbor from the years of chaos and pain they they may have suffered.....and, expect that they alcoholic will be full of gratitude and begin to make up for their bad behaviors.....
The reality is, that, in early recovery, the alcoholic may have difficulty just making it from day to day....and, have difficulty coping with their emotions without their "old friend"...the alcohol....
This can last for quite a long time...as, it takes about 6 months for the brain to return to a more normal function....
If, in rehab, the alcoholic has gained enough knowledge and tools to use....she will need to be very "selfish" about putting her sobriety as the very first priority, in her life. Typically, she will have to attend a lot of meetings, and spend a lot of time with her sponsor and other AA members...as well as attend her individual therapy....
This can, sometimes, be problematic for the loved one....as they may feel displaced, in the relationship, for a while....
I think that the best thing that the loved one can do is to just not be obstructive....and, otherwise, not get involved in the treatment of the alcoholic...This can be seen as an intursion...no matter how well meant...and, may come back to bite you....
While a positive attitude is fine...I suggest to refrain from showering praise and becoming her cheerleader....she will have pleanty of other people that she should depend on, for that.....her sponsor, her therapist, and her other AA members....
I think that just being yourself and just be the husband is the best thing....
I cannot emphasize enough, that you will need a program of recovery, for yourself...because, just as she will be changing, over time...so will you need to make your own changes.....
As it pretains to recovery, she will need to tend to her side of the street and you will need to attend to yours.....
If you have been tending to her for the past several years, and, possibly enabling her (even if you did not intend to), it might be hard for you to "Step back", at first....
While alcoholism is very predictable....every person is different, and there is no way to predict exactly how things will go...
The future has not, yet, been written....
You will need to prepare yourself to face whatever happens....both of you will be challenged to live life on life's terms.....