There's no reason it has to be your future if you don't want it to be Jeff.
I'm lucky I found things to do in my life that I love to do, day in day out.
No reason why you can't keep looking for your version of that
You're 50 something, not 90 something.
This is not the final act - no matter what your fear and self loathing tells you.
And...its worth saying again - just because you get out of bed and go to work everyday and fulfill all your responsibilities and have times you feel ok doesn't mean it's not depression Jeff
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/d...on-in-men.htm/
D