Welcome, Frog,
I don’t know your situation, but I do know one thing is true: at 3 months sober, being sober does indeed take all of your energy and attention.
A lot of old timers say not to make any big changes for a year.
I didn’t feel like a whole person for a year. I didn’t feel I could trust my own emotions. I had been so bogged down by booze, but it was also the only way I knew to be. So when I quit, I started FEELING everything. All the dumb things I’d done, all the emotions I’d numbed came back times 100. It’s really hard to get and stay sober, but it’s worth it.
When we recover, we don’t typically go back to who we were before we got addicted. We do tend to change. Most of us end up better than we were. But not all of us do.
And you are not obligated to wait and see.
Do what you think is right for you and your kids. I hope you do some things just for yourself. You are in a difficult situation, if you don’t treat yourself with care and respect nobody else will.
I hope you keep posting, there’s a lot of good support here.