Divorce?
Hi this is my first post here and I am desperate to find advice. My husband has been sober for 3 months today, but he says he doesn't feel any different than when he was drinking, except maybe worse because he doesn't have alcohol to numb the pain. He did a 28 day in patient program and from there went to a sober living house. We have 4 year old twins together and I couldn't handle having him come home until he was much better. I have recently tried being compassionate with him instead of bitter because watching him still suffer really is painful. I have told him I want a divorce numerous times in the last year as his drinking got worse and worse and expressed to him that I do love him but I'm not in love with him anymore. I deeply loved the man I married but he isn't sure he is still in there. I told my husband I want to really try to see if we can save our marriage and possibly have him come home once we have worked things out a bit but he now doesn't think he is in love with me and thinks he has done too much to get past that has hurt me and doesn't want to live with the shame and the guilt. One day he says file for divorce because it's too much to get past and the next he says he is confused. The limbo is what is killing me, I don't need a promise other than he wants to work on saving our family but he says he can't concentrate on anything other than staying sober right now. We are married but don't live together and only talk when planning for him to see the kids. He doesn't liked coming to the house where he drank in secret so I meet him at parks and we usually argue while watching them play. Should I just accept that our marriage can't survive this? The limbo is killing me because I don't even know if there is anything there to fight for any more