I really love Eckhart Tolle too. Recently read "A Power of Now" and "A New Earth" ....love him so much and he's got a great sense of humour also
I've been practicing his teachings for a few weeks and I feel so at peace.... Everything is clicking into place. Things like saying yes to right here and now... remembering that the future is basically right Now... And so accepting the current situation for what it is, and the people around me for what they say / do is very liberating .. When I notice anxious thoughts, I remind myself to "watch the thinker" as Tolle puts it...and then I notice any stress just dissolving. It's been a godsend discovering him.
From what you wrote Fiona it sounds like you're on a path that you need to take and it's an exciting one...and as for having children or not, I'm a believer that what is meant is meant. If you don't get to have your own biological children (and you still might btw, I know a 44 year old who is currrently pregnant without ivf) then considering adoption is one route, or maybe pursuing a line of work or hobby that would allow you to help people in some way... Community workshops, youth workshops etc... But could be anything at all that simply allows you to nurture, create, be your true self. You don't have to change your career or go out chasing something to fill soemthing, but what I mean is that new ideas might come to you in terms of how you might want to spend your time. And of course the number one person to be nurtured first and foremost is yourself...more time in nature, more time being comfortable with who you are. And over time new chance opportunities, meetings... All kinds of good adventures will come to you....no one knows the future, all we have and ever will have is right now x