Piperdream: i am certainly not glad (of course) for you having similar issues in terms of possibly loosing an option of becoming a mother to your own child, but i it is indeed soothing to hear im not the only one struggling with those losses. As it IS indeed quite devastating from a womans perspective- this thought that this might as well have been the very last 'opportunity' for creating my own family. And to be quite honest, I didnt have such problems with my mom nor dad/siblings, so I was very unaware id say on the issue, meaning i didnt know what to expect. But even more than that, I was lied to by my now ex, as he managed to somehow keep it a secret from me for quite some time. Even if he did go out more than on average, socialised with all the 'wrong' people etc.
Having said that, since i am naturally not so prone to codependency, I am sure I would probably have left the situation earlier in the relationship had I known what was going on. But, since codependency is actually a RESULT of such stressful life stemming from living with an addict, I too developed some of those fears in the meantime and concerns/obsessions (as the relationship progressed).
Interestingly enough, as soon as I was absolutely sure that he indeed has a severe issues with alcohol, I immediately expressed my concerns and manage to set up my own boundaries. But of course, emotionally, it got to me very much so, as I love him deeply and bonded with him on many different levels as mentioned earlier. Not to mention becoming immediately aware of the lost 'dream' of which we talked about in this thread.
To conclude, I suppose I have to come to terms now with the fact that the time is inevitably gone (and what is invested was something deeply precious to me). That hurts a lot, in all honesty. As on some level (even if I know that it is indeed a disease and not something he did with intention to screw me over) I still feel betrayed and deceived by him.
But I never actually truly hold it against him, as my love indeed surpasses my hurt in this case...