Realest, the word that popped to my mind at your "how" question is one that DT just used - "practice." That's the only way I can do a decent enough job at this whole program thing to keep going and living well.
I don't know if you want a practical suggestion, but here's something I do every morning - I read pp 417-418 in the BB (after I do 84-88 and ask myself the inventory questions about the day prior) - and I have the St Francis prayer on a bookmark on those last pages. I pick 2 words in the "seek to..." side (as in seek to understand, not be understood) to try to focus on that day. Basically, whichever jump out at me- and sometimes I jot them on my day planner. Today was love and understanding.
Probably bc my husband and I just went thru an emotional upheaval involving Mother's Day and had to quite seriously try to understand each other- mainly me trying to understand how he could hurt me badly, and not get resentful (or stay that way)....and "letting" him understand me. Scary stuff- but it's practice of all this that keeps me at it.