Hummingbird,
The other day, I took a look over at the Newcomers to Recovery forum because I thought it would be helpful for me to see this disease from a different point of view. The self-loathing that alcoholics and addicts express feeling is heartbreaking. They don't want to hurt anyone...they are the ones hurting.
Our children love us so very much...I know mine do, and I really believe that my son stays away because he is hurting, and feeling low, and not able to bear letting me see that. My hope is that he will find recovery and over time, he will heal and begin to love himself again, and we will have a wonderful relationship. I will try to be patient, because I have no other choice.