Hey GoN - so glad to hear you went.
Like others said, I was sick (huge w/drawals and extended ones at that) and angry and....totally relate to how you feel right now. And, I am another one who was quiet for quite awhile - and wasn't about to try to make friends. I knew AA was my only option at the point I finally quit, but that didn't mean I was ready to "do" or "absorb" much of anything. I had to just sit, and keep coming back.
When are you going back? I promise it is ok to keep showing up however YOU need to, and lots of us are people pleasers too so I get that also! Like our wise friend tomsteve said, it takes time (which is a huge challenge for this alcoholic) and repetition.
Glad you are sharing here too.