Cyranoak thank you for your post. In the last few weeks after finally cutting all contact with an alcoholic friend I have come to the same thing.
What attracted me to this person, though they pursued the friendship not me, was they seemed a kind, understanding, empathetic and intelligent person.
The drinking brought out another side.....the b side. I always thought they were really the a side. Which kept me going with them. But the increasingly short amounts they were sober I could sense they were like a shadow. Almost like a non person. The niceness remained like an echo but they were weak and almost non functioning. I can see this exact same thing in a neighbour who I avoid.
You are right side b is who they truly are and side a is just a front to get them by.
Wow........totally nutshelled it. Thank you