I found myself screaming at him, I'm so fed up with the head games.
I discovered that when I was fed up with the head games, they ending up being head games that only I was playing in my own head. He was living his reality and those head games kept me from accepting that.
But for some reason it makes me feel absolutely insane that he cannot and will not be with me because his addict sister is his only connection, and she won't let him leave there. If he does, she'll cut him off
He’s choosing to give up a further life with you in order to do drugs, that’s what active drug addicts do. You are choosing to play games in your head that it’s his sisters fault. Believe me if he would leave there he’d still find drugs because that’s what active drug addicts do. He’s using her, she is using him because that is what active drug addicts do.
I don’t mean this is in a mean way but you are no more to him them a resource, a place he can store his stuff, a mailbox where he can have his disability check sent. Don’t you want more than that for yourself in your life?
I’d tell him he has 30 days to get all his belongings out of your house and change his address otherwise you will donate the clothing and notify the post office that he no longer lives there and left no forwarding address. Send those checks back with no longer at this address.
We all know it is not easy, and many of us also know the continued pain in trying to hang onto someone who’s already gone and who doesn’t want to be held.