Originally Posted by
trailmix 
You can't heal unless you truly go NC. Every time there is contact you will go back to step one again and that's really torture. It's also why you are still feeling so bad and not healing as you would like to.
I'm really starting to see that. I thought I was strong enough to try to remain civil, but it's breaking me down so badly. I'm weaker than I've ever been in my life, and that says a lot. I've never taken crap from anyone!
I keep thinking of what someone said previously..."not my monkey, not my circus" lol. Was it you? Regardless, it just keeps echoing in my mind right now. I need to stop playing the ringmaster, the show is over!