trailmix

There aren't really, it is tortuous. The only way out is to change your focus back to yourself. That's great you are going out for dinner this week, any opportunity you get to socialize, jump at it! The more time you spend with people that give, that are pleasant and normal, the more you will realize what you want.

I hope you also take time to try new things as well. You have probably spent so much time focusing on him and his problems that you haven't really looked at what you want and what makes you happy. What fun things do you like? Maybe when you meet up with your friend you can suggest another outing? Just keep doing the next right thing for yourself Katerina and you will be fine.

I know it's hard when you are still feeling so bad but the busier you keep your mind the less you will think about him and those loops of thought that can get you stuck will start to fade away.

As for his mail, it's against the law to throw it away, but, I would tell him he has 1 week to get the address changed if his cheques still arrive as of the end of the month you are going to return to sender.

Don't worry about him, he is apparently quite able to look after himself, he's been gone for weeks, partying and having a good time, he will be fine. If he's not, that's not your problem, he is not your responsibility.

You can't heal unless you truly go NC. Every time there is contact you will go back to step one again and that's really torture. It's also why you are still feeling so bad and not healing as you would like to.