brilliant post
My take is somewhat different. I think who "they really are" is the person that is revealed when drunk. All inhibitions drop away and who is in there is revealed by substance: not caused by it.
Sober they are able to cover this up. It's much easier to be kind and thoughtful when you have filters and monitors.
It doesn't matter who is right or wrong on this issue. What matters is that we all stay in recovery and commit to it and our peace of mind.