You're welcome I'm glad it helped and I do believe it's the truth.
I was just reviewing your threads and this is a particularly important time for you so I think this is worth mentioning. When things start to upswing a bit (he tries to get sober or he comes back without even being sober at all) you stop posting. Now lol - posting is not mandatory! - but I think it is worth mentioning because you know he is probably going to show up again when the money runs out. He will need more drugs, he has no job. Right now he is having the drug infused time of his life, but that will end shortly (he, of course, is not thinking about that at all). I wonder how welcoming his Sister will be when he runs out of money.
If you think he won't, remember, this is the guy that stole your medication after your surgery. There isn't much he won't do for some pills. The only reason you had to have your surgery so soon was to pay off his bills. Those are his actions, not his words, his actions, so right now he is all confident with a few dollars in his pocket and he's high and he's having fun, that's going to end shortly.
So, back to my point! Not mandatory to post but I hope you will and I am glad you are seeking therapy and please keep seeking support, whatever that means. Don't isolate, not now, not if he shows up again. When you get stuck in your own head with things like this it is so easy to justify horrible treatment, it becomes normal, it's not.
You also have so much experience to share here.
On a positive note, I sat down to watch TV a little while ago. I was surprised I was actually focused on it for a change. It gave me a moment (however so brief) to realize there was no stress, just peace. I can't wait till those moments are more frequent and the pain disappears
This! Hard to believe but this will start happening more frequently. You will think, wow, I've been awake for 10 minutes and didn't even remember, or like tonight, wow I haven't even thought about that for half an hour and the sense of peace you had tonight, the relief, will come in longer periods, it's great.