I think what I meant was that his family and I had talked about things. We've made it clear that when he decides to seek help, we will support him. Emotionally, that is, so he doesn't feel like he's alone. I know there is nothing I can physically do to cure him or push him into it. He's never been one to research anything so the one thing his parents and I agreed on long ago was that IF he decides to go into a rehab, we want it to be a good one. The last two were forced, state mandated and offered no therapy in addition to recovery.
I absolutely want a healthy relationship for myself in the future. I know it cannot be with him, I know the trust and damage done can never be repaired. I don't want to live playing "private eye" anymore or making myself insane looking for answers to everything he does. It's mentally and physically exhausting.
I guess I just try to imagine that if I were in his shoes, and actually did make a commitment to getting help, that I would want to have someone on my side to cheer me on, for lack of a better phrase. Maybe it's the guilt talking as I'm going through the stages of loss. I just can't imagine myself having to go through something like that alone without anyone on my side, offering faith. If that makes any sense.