Yes, healing is tough. You literally have to go through all the filing cabinets in your head and deal with the contents of what is in there. If you don't, the file cabinet stays a mess and you will have to keep coming back to it over and over. That is how it was explained to my by a therapist and it really makes sense.
Dealing with some of that stuff is painful and hard, but when you truly go through it and come out the other side, there is an accomplishment that you cannot turn back from.
Keep sharing Jeni, you are not alone! I know when I suffer with tough times I feel so alone and that is overwhelming. Just reach out and know we are here, supporting you!