Thanks all for the supportive and insightful words. It always helps to get the outside in perspective. It’s so much easier to see the reality of others situations sometimes than it is your own.

I just want my emotions to match my reality and reason. I heard this poor woman testify in court when they were trying to get her to be a supervisor and she is clueless. It was shocking. It was clear that he wasn’t transparent with her about any events that occurred and also clear that she had never dealt with an alcoholic of this capacity. Pretty much if he said he didn’t drink, she believed him. She felt she was an appropriate supervisor because she could obviously see what his drink choices were and be able to intervene. Soo.., you think you will see him drink? Poor poor girl.

Also I was with him for 15 years. All of which he had issues on/off. He might be good now, but it’s onky a matter if time. I’ve seen this all before.

So why do my emotions still get sucked in? My mind knows the reality. I think part of me misses the sides of him that I married. I think I also still do must have subconscious thoughts that “maybe he will change afterall” that cause it. I wish my emotions would reflect what I know is true.