Originally Posted by batchel9
XAH (of 9 mo) gf just had his baby 2 days ago. Hes been very nice in our dealings with the kids lately, itís actually been pleasant. So now despite having supervised custody only with a Soberlink with our kids, his new baby and family seem super duper fantastic and everyone is oh so happy for them. Itís all hitting me like a box of rocks. I knew it was coming but the baby actually coming has made it way more real. Why does it sting so much?
Im sitting here with a life that I should be happy with, feeling miserable. I have a good job, family, even been dating a guy I adore. Yet sometimes itís like I get hit with the tidal wave, like this.
I feel like since this divorce, I can definitely relate to people with depression. It doesnít happen often for me, but sometimes my life just feels like it sucks sooo bad when rationally I should not feel like that.
I can talk to myself and reason and it all makes sense. He hasnít changed, there are still problems, the baby was clearly unplanned and everyone is making the most of it. He and his gf are still in the honeymoon stage and she doesnít see the real issues yet. Etc etc. But it still hurts.
Not to oversimplify, but I think the grief is just for what we thought we could be and have with that person, not necessarily sadness for what our life is like today .