It's grief it comes in waves. Ride the wave and know that the universe has great plans for you, you just don't know what they are yet.
you are doing your work, looking at the problems that you had in your marriage and looking at your stuff. None of this is comfortable.
Your ex has fast forwarded to the happy ending. He skipped the bit when he does his work. He will have to do it at some point.
Hold onto all the things that are good in your life. They will get you through your darkest days.
A gratitude list every morning is so simple but so effective. Especially when you don't feel like doing it
big hugs to you