batchel, everything you are feeling is really normal. IDK, I think sometimes that we can come out of denial and see what our lives really were, but I also think that we can go back there, or if not back in denial, just questioning, why my life with the ex couldn't be like that.
I think that it's good that you are talking about it. It's better to get it out, and then just walk away from it. I don't think it would be a normal feeling to not have emotions about this. I think a baby being born would bring us back to the past to remember how we felt then. I also think that it would bring back memories of all the things that went wrong.
I think you summed up everything in your last paragraph as to how you feel or need to deal with this.
Here for you, and many (((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))).
amy