Originally Posted by
hearthealth 
Maybe this is a normal relationship and I'm too selfish. Maybe I'm asking for too much.
In all honesty, a healthy thinker would not wonder about this.
Originally Posted by
hearthealth Can you ignore your own feelings and recover from codependency?
Absolutely not.
Recovery from codependence is all about honoring our values and our feelings and taking responsibility for what is happening in our lives. There is no recovery at all without deep introspection about why we are having our feelings. Perhaps you are confusing "ignoring your own feelings" with loving detachment. Loving detachment (which we learn in recovery) is not ignoring how we feel, nor is it turning a blind eye to unwanted behavior nor steeling ourselves against hurtful people. It's about learning to let people be what they choose to be and not struggling (even in our minds) to change them. Loving detachment is about finding our own inner source of peace and not asking others to provide "good behavior" so that we can have that peace. Honoring our feelings is a big part of learning how to cultivate our own inner source of tranquility so that we can then make choices from a peaceful place instead of a fearful place (AKA: recovery.)
A part of you is ready to think differently and perhaps
do differently, that's why you're asking these questions. If you weren't ready to think and do something different, you would not ask questions at all. Are you in a recovery/wellness program?