Hi scared. I really feel for you! So many of us know your pain. I agree with fini- can you get to a doctor about the physical symptoms? In the beginning, I took some prescription anti anxiety/depression meds and went to therapy also. My doctor was hugely supportive and sort of became like a second therapist and gave me all kinds of support resources to look into.
I am concerned about the situation with your husband because it seems he has addiction issues too, and you could be enabling each other. I know you want it to work and you love him. But it seems like you really need to work on your sobriety and loving yourself as first priority.
I thought Dee had mentioned to another member once that Goodwill or Salvation Army might be able to offer some support? I’m not sure.
I hope you will come here as often as you need for support while you figure things out! Xo