I didn't really know what to title this. Its an update of sorts but its more than that, its transformation, grace, confidence. I feel more like myself than I ever have, a self I didn't even know existed, if that makes sense. Went to court again today, motion for contempt(enforcement of order to reinstate health insurance), motion to reconsider(assets lots of mistakes, and no information). I have 3l attorneys (original, big gun, and jr) and when it came down to it he called me up to the bench to do the presenting (the explaining myself) High asset very complex......, so then AH is allowed to come stand next to me while we both explain. They question my documents, my numbers, make silly claims. (I have proof for all of it, its ridiculous, I go on.....) When I finally sit down (jr. says OMG what kind of financial background do you have, I say just accounting but apparently I am too old or too stupid because I haven't worked in 22 years noone will hire me. He says "we would hire you!" (mind you this kid has no authority) Big gun walks me outside the courtroom and says "girl you just earned yourself some $$$$" and my Original attorney says "we could have hired a financial expert at the cost of your assets and not gotten the information you were able to find and convey". But this is not the important part this is just icing. The most amazing part was that I stood there inches from AH and I felt powerful but not in a cocky, arrogant way---I felt like: I know my stuff, I am worth fighting for, I am not afraid and I am WHOLE with who I am, what I want and where I'm going. I felt the chapter close today no matter what happens I am capable, smart, kind, beautiful, funny, worthy and unafraid. I am free in a way I haven't felt since the ignorance of youth. I have no idea what's coming and that's okay. I will be happy, healthy and whole whatever may come!
