and I know- I am aware that addiction is a slippery slope- I am not fooling myself. I just really wanted to try it out a bit. I am not sure right now what direction I will go from this point. So far it has not been hard to stop and start but I know that is only the case in the beginning and then it gets its claws in me.
What happened was, it was a particularly stressful time. And within a few months ago a new legal pot place opened up about an hour form me. And I had never been to a legal pot place as it is new to my area. So I had been looking online on their menu- even when I wasnt smoking, because I know most of the new stuff is way too high thc level- like over 20% thc and I just hate that. Back in my heyday it was 7 or 8% thc which is much better I think. So I had been looking on their menu and the lowest they had was like 16%. Then one day during a particularly stressful period I saw they had an 11% one which was the lowest- so I just felt like it- went there, got some pre rolled joints- smoked a bit. Really pretty mellow stuff, did not really cause too much anxiety- you know in the beginning it can be helpful. helped me with some things- after a few days I started to see the underbelly of it- a bit of fear happenning- so took a week off, thhen tried it again for a few days. Etc. So now I dont know, I am not that focused on it as much as I was in past times. I am not smoking at the moment menaning I think day 3 sober after 3 days of smoking- .I just dont know. it has good and bad I guess.