Originally Posted by
AnvilheadII 
considering how much you now DEFEND your father,his drinking and the sanctity of these "trips" i'm wondering why you posted.
Unfortunately, he will. But I drive, not him. And that's on him. I do know for a fact he would take all responsibility, should something happen, so that I don't face anything. But again, I drive, so that helps. I know that's enabling, however, what am I, a 30 year old, going to tell my 74 year old father. "No! You can't do that!". I wish it were that simple, and I've tried. Falls on deaf ears.
you most certainly CAN tell any passenger of your vehicle or any vehicle you are IN that no alcohol is allowed. you are as you say a 30 year old grown up. what i am hearing is a ton of enabling and myth retelling. rather than stand up for yourself, you have built a legend around these trips where all your father does is drink all day, and you "tolerate" it in the name of a memory.
there are only four states that allow open containers in vehicles and based on your itinerary you won't be in any of them. so you are willfully violating the law. just sayin'..........
which is totally your choice. but this has a lot less to with his drinking, than the role you have made for yourself in the dysfunctional dynamics of an alcoholic family unit.
Well, for one I posted on here because I have a family member who is an alcoholic. I'm not defending his drinking, I hate that he does it and puts me at risk to get in trouble. I hate that I put myself in that situation. However, I feel that you should not be judging me so harshly on the matter, considering you've never walked in MY shoes. Every alcoholic, every family member of an alcoholic, and every situation regarding dealing with an alcoholic is different. You don't know what I face when I try to stand my ground, which I have tried to do. Again, it falls on deaf ears; stubborn, hard-headed ears.
I also never said that he drinks all day. He will drink at dinners, and some events or places we attend, and sometimes, yes in the vehicle on the way to some place.
I'm very well aware that I enable it. But again, if you'd like to step into my shoes and tell him no, please do. Otherwise, please don't presume to know that I am myth retelling. I posted because I need any advice I could get. Not, for all intents and purposes, be called an enabling crybaby.
I am a 30 year old frown woman, who is still growing and learning mentally, and am just now approaching the subject of his alcoholism in therapy. So I assure you, I am doing the best I can with the HELPFUL advice I've been given thus far.
I hope you can learn to be more understanding and compassionate towards people if you're going to be on a site like this. I highly doubt I'm the only one, and I will post about whatever I need to to get help through all of this.
I hope you have a better day.