Originally Posted by trailmix

Hi HopeandCope. I hope this trip goes better as well.

One good tool is JADE - you don't have to Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain. That alone can save a lot of arguments.

Speaking of which, arguing with someone who has been drinking, in particular someone like your Father is a complete and utter waste of your time. I had an alcoholic Father too. Luckily he wasn't "mean" when drinking, in general, although he could be that way sometimes and controlling so I do know what you are talking about.

I say 'in particular someone like your Father' because you know where it is going. No amount of reasoning, calm talking, explaining, stating facts is going to have him back down over the coffee.

So, where does that leave you? Just don't engage. If he says the coffee is not coffee, it's tea a reply might be, well that's interesting. Or a simple, uh huh.

He states you are driving too slow, too fast, didn't indicate, didn't do something else right. Again, a reply would be - uh huh. You know what you know, you don't have to convince him of that, it just doesn't matter.

Have you ever wondered why you are the one he chooses to argue with? He must bait other people, how do they respond, or does he even have anyone who has stuck with him? Are you the only child?

Regardless, he isn't going to change and the only person you can control is yourself and detaching from the crazy arguments is going to be up to you.



You don't have anything to prove here, while it IS coffee, what does convincing him of it do for you. Absolutely nothing. You may get to be right, but at what cost?