Thanks Dee for your comment, I mean all I'm asking is how did everyone FEEL when it seemed to progress? Was it panic, anxiety, or am I not allowed to ask? For me since December last year something changed. Like, drastically. I reduced my meds because I thought it was them then I got them back up to where they were and I was fine doing 21 days dry. I guess I was surprised at how much panic took over when I went back to drinking (knowing the meds were 6+ weeks back in gear). It feels like I tipped over into physical dependence late last year. I just wanted others' opinions as to whether they felt like they fell off a cliff at a specific moment (almost like those walruses in Our World on Netflix - sorry if that's too soon, but **** it, that's what it feels like)...
I felt like I had a reasonable hand on things for my first ten years then it seemed like that control vanished overnight.
My response? I drank more.. cos thats what I did when I worried.
I got used to blacking out.
I got used to drinking in the morning.
I got used to wetting myself when I passed out.
I got used to injuries falls and loss of money credit cards etc.
I got used to being carried home by friends.
Noone in their right mind should get used to any of that.
You've been here a while tetrax - you have not only your own threads but other peoples to read as well.
I'm a little surprised its that surprising to you things are getting worse that quickly but yeah man - things do get worse and it can be breathtakingly sudden.
I think you're experiencing something that's very common for a lot of us.
You must know, at least intellectually, what to do to stop the panic and anxiety.
You either quit now or it gets even worse.
D