Thanks Dee for your comment, I mean all I'm asking is how did everyone FEEL when it seemed to progress? Was it panic, anxiety, or am I not allowed to ask? For me since December last year something changed. Like, drastically. I reduced my meds because I thought it was them then I got them back up to where they were and I was fine doing 21 days dry. I guess I was surprised at how much panic took over when I went back to drinking (knowing the meds were 6+ weeks back in gear). It feels like I tipped over into physical dependence late last year. I just wanted others' opinions as to whether they felt like they fell off a cliff at a specific moment (almost like those walruses in Our World on Netflix - sorry if that's too soon, but **** it, that's what it feels like)...