Originally Posted by
ait 
I don’t drink every day, but when I do, it’s impossible for me to stop. I always think that I can handle it, but sometimes I get blackouts and do and say stupid things. Last time it happened was yesterday, before that about 4 months ago. I feel so ashamed and angry at myself.
I was the same, not drunk all the time, just lost control periodically. Only for me the periods between drinks were less.
It is self evident that stopping drinking is the answer. I thought of that myself a long time before I sought any help. I stopped many times, but could not stay stopped.
If you are getting four months between benders, then it is going to be relatively easy to stop - for four months. What will happen after that point may depend on what you have done to treat your alcoholism. I once tried therapy and hospitalisation and got nearly 6 months (10 weeks in the hospital), but I still could not stay stopped.
I always reached a point just before picking up where I forgot why I should not drink and convinced myself that this time would be different. It was the onset of this type of insane thinking that I needed to get a defense against. In the end,and just before the real end for me, I went to AA and found a solution. Actually, to put it that way is a bit of an understatement. What I found was a really satisfying way of life and a complete end to the alcoholic misery I had been suffering.